Waiting on the Sun- Sixpence None the Richer

i'm tired, but i'm happy because we celebrated jin's birthday!
and she made me sth out of a block of wood, from scratch. with a HACK SAW. she made one for bao too, cuz she missed our birthday presents. hahaha.

anyhow, before that i watch the Exorcism of Emily Rose with the (now)T103 people. it was a great movie. seriously. i joined them again after dinner, only to go home right after that. i was a bit bummed, until i realised it was a thursday and not the weekends.

i'm too used to be being nocturnal. the holidays have killed my daytime inner child.
HAHA.

i'm finally started on The Unbearable Lightness of Being. the first few pages were rather heavy, but gosh do they make sense. or not.

"... the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant."
(Kundera, 1999, p.5)

that line sort of stunned me.
burdens are only suppose to exhaust you,
being light equals unimaginable freedom;
but with that quote, it suddenly seems wiser to be burdened than to soar.
at least you know you're closer to the ground.

i've been thinking a lot about my future. the media is only glamorous for a selected few. most of us will be doing the dirty jobs behind the scenes, but honestly it is the ones in the spotlight that have it the hardest. i suppose everyone needs to pay a price for fame, and that price is insecurity. people like me will not be shooting movies or getting my face on the cover spread, and it's sad when you realise that, until you can fully convince yourself that not everyone is meant to be famous. dreams will be dreams; like smoke that diffuses along with time and gets lost with your childhood. it's no longer okay to cry when you don't have what you want, but it is important to make sure you have what you need.
it's not a neccessity to be famous, though we all know the spotlight is a nice place to be sometimes. haha.

lecturers and tutors are always reminding us that we are all going to be future media professionals. well, what will we all become? will our lives have overdoses of pride, selfishness, obscenities, alliances, fair-weather friends and a greed for recognition and fame, in this undisputable race for people? the media, after all, provides no iron rice bowls. instead, we get jade cutlery that can fetch you a whole of money but breaks like twig can.

goodness. what kind of path have i chosen for myself?

I blogged @ 11:42 PM